Pay phones are sooo 20th Century.

I. Have. Been. Busy.

I started a new full-time position as a *really important sounding title that I still wonder how I got* for a super great social service nonprofit, am contracted as an event planner for a March fundraising gala, and am an assistant coach for the high school speech team. Plus, with my inability to say no, remain on two volunteer committees and do some freelance writing.

I now know why people hire personal assistants. The gay, gay, super-gay male kind. (I totally need help designing my holiday office decorating and have frequent internal debates about office-appropriate attire.)

So, between imbibing caffeine, falling in love with my under-eye concealer, and making friends with the foreign cleaning lady at work because, well, "You still heah?" (in polish accent...did that sound like a polish accent? Hmm...try it out loud? Maybe I went too Asian.)...I've found it hard to find time to post my social witticisms. Or spend time with my friends and Boyfriend. Or sleep, for that matter.

There's something like working 60+ hours a week that really kills your desire to flit from party to party. But you know, it took me about a month (we'll call November "the lost month.") to re-adjust from a "lady who lunches" schedule to a "conference call/working lunch lady." [Don't read that wrong, I'm not a lunch lady. I just...like to describe myself with lunches?] I finally got a little bit better at balancing my schedule(s), but still need a *lot* of work.

This happens to all of us at some point, or at multiple points, in our lives. We struggle to juggle (overlook that rhyme...) all of our priorities, friends, engagements, family. We all get overwhelmed. Which, might I remind you, causes forehead wrinkles. Which I've started to notice.

So gather round, friends, and I'll tell you a social tale of horrific proportions in hopes you can learn from my mistakes:

After my first week of work, I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend. On Friday night, (even though all I wanted to do was go home to a nice dinner, maybe tea, couch, swedish massage and lavish chocolates, etc) I donned my butterfly wings and prepared for THREE parties that night: birthday, housewarming, going away.

I left work late, had to run to Trader Joe's for a housewarming gift, orchestrated meeting Boyfriend at birthday party. He was late and forgot the gift, which I had to have him swing by and pick up since I had to work late. Social faux pas number one: Enter bday party sans gift. Quickly hurry through bday drinks to jump in the car and hightail it to housewarming party half an hour away. BF and I drive separate, get lost (separately), my phone dies, I have to resort to asking for a pay phone at a gas station.

Apparently, we're in the 21st century and if I wanted to find a payphone I'd have to visit a history museum. So, determined not to miss a party, I drove through a dark, winding, hilly neighborhood for 45 minutes. In tears of frustration and exhaustion. Having to pee.

Lost for what else to do, I started going into each individual complex of town homes and searching the digital address registry. After three tries -- and a misunderstanding in which one apt thought I was delivering the chinese -- I gave up and left without attending party, even though I RSVP'ed. Social Faux Pas Number 2. Still tear-streaked and sans phone or boyfriend, I finally drove to my last stop of the evening, the going away party. Tired, hungry, and having no desire to be the life of the party (which is...huge.), I resigned myself to pleasant conversation and the couch...and, Social Faux Pas #3, left after 30 mins.

Moral of the story: Common personality traits of social butterflies are that we *love* to have fun and we *hate* to disappoint. However, when we try to please everyone, we just end up disappointing ourselves and/or everyone else.

One of the hardest things for us to do is not only to say NO to a fabulous social engagement, but schedule FREE TIME for ourselves. Don't sacrifice your friendships or your sanity just so you can make an appearance at everything. Your commitments should not get you committed. (I'm sure "social hour" in the psych ward does NOT include canapes and cocktails. At least not the alcoholic kind.)

And, I'll say it, for good reason (but I'll only say it once): Saying no to a party is okay. Every now and then we need our beauty sleep. What good is a social butterfly who can't properly socialize because she's falling asleep mid-convo (or mid-make out, depending on your agenda.)?!

So - WRITE IN "night in" in your planner for rejuvenation.

Then hit your social scene hard, but remember that quantity does not equal quality. You'll be able to spend more QT with the host/hostess/guest of honor/random guy by the hummus platter and get in more ipod requests when you concentrate your efforts. Flitting unsuccessfully does no one any good, especially for those of us who are unforgivably hard on ourselves.

Let me clarify. I'm not going against my basic fundamentals here: I still LOVE a party. And believe we should all spread our social wings. We just shouldn't spread them too thin.

oxox MB the SB